I have no criteria in my mind. I don't care if you think you're unattractive or you're the most handsome man in the world. I'm only after the one you have down there. What matters to me is if it's going to satisfy me or not.

Let's not waste our time talking about random things. I want to get straight down to business. Tease me as I've never been teased before, and I will flirt with you all night long. My mind is full of naughty fantasies, and you are more than welcome to...

Lives in reality. I'm not in search of a prince or knight in shining armour who'll offer me a grand life. I'm not Cinderella, and I'll never be. I'm a simple lass hoping to meet a bloke who's good in bed.

Tea is my first love. I can drink eight cups of tea with lots of milk while eating an egg and cress club sandwich filled with mayonnaise, mashed hard-boiled eggs, and cheese or dunking biscuits into my tea.

A dishy lad coming my way is already a blessing but getting the chance to shag and use his schlong like my favourite sex toy? Now that just sounds like heaven on earth! I haven't had a proper hard fuck in years and I'm not going to waste time sitting...

I worked as an exotic dancer in my early years, I loved every night I was on stage and I was fairly good at it. But, of course, that was eons ago and always chockfull of fond memories. Though I must say I still have a lot of dance moves left in me.